The following letter I wrote to a friend about body acceptance. I wanted to share it with everyone, because I think it could be pretty relevant for many of you wonderful readers out there!
Just read your latest St Patty's Day blog, thanks for trying so hard to work on body acceptance! It sounds like you're trying to overcome a large mental resistance to realizing that you are truly a beautiful person! I didn't know you were gay until I read this blog, guess I was just out of it, sorry! I have heard that the gay dating/sex/relationship scene is more competitive than the straight scene. Is this true? Maybe this is why you feel the need to be something that you are not, ie. fit into a societal idea of attractiveness. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, this must mean if I think I am beautiful I am! I think the same goes for everyone on this earth!
For myself I have always been pretty positive minded about full figured women. I have always found them very attractive. It wasn't until I got a little "older" (like 27) that I realized my idea of beauty/attractiveness did not jive at all with the mainstream societal idea of beauty and that this was holding me back from loving myself and others. I got by for many year (most of my life) by telling the women I loved that "I liked the way they looked", or that they "looked good to me". I never seemed to be able to tell them that they were beautiful! I just couldn't do it! I was deeply caught up in society's view that these women were unattractive, even though they drove me wild visually!!! Somewhere, somehow, something in my mind just wonderfully, miraculously shifted, and I was able to deepen my love for myself, my partners, friends, and family by seeing things "as they truly are".
Well... it didn't just happen, on second thought. I did a lot of reading, writing, and thinking on the subject over about a one year period. It did take work. :) Some books that really helped me were: Sex for One by Betty Dodson, The Science of Mind by Ernest Holmes, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, This Is Who I Am: Our Beauty in All Shapes and Sizes by Rosanne Olson. I'm sure there are many more that I can't remember right now as well. If you go on facebook you can find me "Eric Cinowalt", on there I have a "visual bookshelf" where I rate all the books I've read. A lot of those books have provided me with constant inspiration and deepened my love and understanding of life, myself, and my loved ones.
Kevin, you really have no need for a shabby view of yourself in this life! Where are these negative views coming from? What positive affirmations can you use to replace them with? What body-positive thinking is now available to you to immediately challenge all of your thoughts about your body? How would your attitude be if you meditated each day and slowly chanted to yourself "Right here, Right now, I am the Beauty I seek to achieve. I am perfectly aligned with Divine Attractiveness."?
"When the doors of perception are cleansed, man will see things as they truly are; infinite." Aldous Huxley
You ARE a beautiful MAN, go and Love yourself!
Thanks so much for reading everyone! I will have more posts soon on nude runs in the redwood forest and along the beach at sunset! Deep loving thoughts to all!